My live without you
by NCJVG
Summary: what if live took a different turn a secret of Snape and his past and what happends when his love is stil alive and his son will know the truth.


**My mistake**

It's was many years a go, but ever time he saw that boy he saw her eyes and he felt so sad.

But there was noting he could say to her she had been gone for so long but the hardest part of seeing that boy every day to know it is not that dram Potter's child but his own. She told him the day before she died. They had a relation when they where at Hogwarts but that ended when that Potter entered the picture. She just put him aside like he was some old toy she didn't want to play anymore. He was heart broken she was they only one how talked to him in there school years.

But then she was there again in front of him. He wasn't sure what happened after that but he could still remember that morning when she woke up in his arms. The way she smiled at him the way she sad good morning, everything. But she also told him that she was married now with that Potter. He didn't want to believe it. But it was true. She was married and there was noting he could do about.

His live returned to normal how fare a live of being a spy can be normal. He was just reading some essay's of first year students, when he heard a soft knock on his door. It was soft but he was sure heard it. So he opened his door she was there with a little bay in here arms. She had been crying he could see. She asked him if she could come inside.

There she was again in his live like a spring storm. He was happy she was there but he saw there was something wrong with here. She told him that the child she held in her arms was not Potter's but his. She knew it had to be him. The boy was indeed a copy of him. She told him that Potter hit here when he found out, called her a slut. She had nowhere to go but to him.

After she told everything he gave her some dreamless poison and let her to his bed so she got some rest and he could think about this.

When he was watching the boy, he was awaking and was crying out for his mother. In a panic of not disturbing her he took the boy in his arms. At that moment the boy stop crying and looking at the man how hold him. The baby in his arms smiled at him like is mother just to do. And from that moment he knew he had to protect his son and the woman he loved with all of his heart.

He started immediately on the poison that was needed for this he would let the boy look like that Potter so he would not scream at her again. Now she was a sleep in his bed, as he dream so many time's. The potions would continue working until the boy's seventeen's birthday. Then he or his mother had to give him a letter where everything was explained in and after that he would change into his real self. He just hoped that the boy how was sleeping there aside him would understand what he done for him, and why he had to go living there with a man how is not his father.

The next morning he explained his plan to her she understood there where not much possibilities, but she hoped that she could stay with him. At that point he said it was not safe with him either because he was a spy for the Order. She knew he was right but she did not like it to leave the man she loved. But she returned to Potter when the boy had taken his potion and with in a day he would be a perfect match to his so called 'father'.

That same night Voldemort came to there house and killed James. When he walked up to the stairs he could swear he hurt a woman not call the man he just killed but one of his most faithful Death Eaters. He was surprised about this fact that woman was a muggle born. But how was it possible that one of his Death Eaters would know this woman. Especially him, how would he be involved with her. He was locking his mind when he was up stairs knowing what he had to do in just a few seconds away. But when he was there to see a woman in tears over a boy how did not look like the man below them. But like his Death Eater he was sure of never to touch a muggle born.

He killed her thinking she gave birth to a child how was doomed to be cursed in the wizard world if they found out of the boy's real father. He searched the body for any clues of this. To know for sure what he was thinking but was as clear as glass. The only thing he found was a letter to her son, he could not open it. Then he turned to the boy and said to him: "I don't know who your father is but I know this your real last name is surely not Potter". With that sad too the young child, he raised is wand and sad the curse. But the one thing he did not know was that is father protected him with a shield that not even that curse good brake.

Many years past and when he saw his son for the first time in many years, he cursed himself on not insisting for here to stay that night. Maybe then he could watch his son with a proud face being sorted, instead of the sour one he had to take in the idea that he hated his so called 'father'.

"Oh Lilly, if I just listened to you then you would be here next to me to see our son stand there to be sorted, then maybe my life had not been so lonely and hounded by my one mistake of letting you go to him."

"How will I tell him that I am his father, how will I tell the world that the name of Harry James Potter is just is wall for the hiding truth the truth of my son Sebastian Tobias Richard Snape the son of Severus Sebastian Tobias Snape.

**A/N this is my first fan fiction I hope you like it tell my what you thought of it maybe I will make a story f it but then I would like some idea's**


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